Thou Unnecessary Letter

Today I will:

( Cut for quotidiana )

I think I'll finish my coffee and start with getting dressed and getting on the bike.

So every few months, I get what I think is a bog-standard grief dream. My dad is alive. The death was a mistake. The funeral? An error.

( Cut for discussions of death and grieving. Because you might have something more cheerful, or at least less morbid, to do today. I won't be hurt if you do! )

What I want is a nice, footnoted social-scientific book about grief and dreams.
Something that says, essentially, "Yep, these dreams are normal. They indicate [[something]] about the grieving process. People who experience these dreams frequently express [[something]]. They tend to progress in these specific ways. Here are some techniques that people use to deal with feeling emotionally gutpunched the morning after."

I suspect the best I'm going to find is On Grief and Grieving. The book isn't specifically on dreams, but it won't hurt me to read about grief-not-dreams, and David Kessler and Elizabeth Kübler-Ross are rather the western authorities on the subject of grief. The association with Oprah is unfortunate, but I think I can overlook it. Just because someone appears with Oprah doesn't necessarily mean they're more slick than substantive, right? Also, on his website, David Kessler tells readers who feel they need his books, but can't afford them, to write to him—he'll do what he can to get those people a copy. That doesn't necessarily mean the books are awesome, but it does tell me that this is someone who cares about helping people. (I can afford a book. Or I can borrow it from the library.)

I'm okay, really. I just wish I had a better idea of what the program is, and some strategies for dealing with the sucktastic parts. Then again, I'm just as glad to lack much in the way of direct practice, you know?


* If you subscribe to the theories that I see as woowoo, I'm sorry to offend you. We can discuss our comparative ontologies another time (Or, we can agree to disagree, and not discuss them. I'm fine with that.). Right now, please respect the fact that I do not find religion comforting because I don't have any. I don't find appeals to new age principles appealing, and I'm not going to get exorcised, or channel my inner something-or-other without some sort of evidence-based reason to do so.